


What if I asked you to stay?

by takarter



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Domestic Fluff, F/F, First Christmas, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-20 08:39:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17019387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takarter/pseuds/takarter
Summary: She's here with Kara, and it'sKarathat wraps a red cape around her shoulders in a gesture so incredibly endearing that Lena almost tears her gaze away from the city beneath them. She leans into the embrace, relishes the warmth and instinctively seeks for more, sighs unwillingly when Kara wraps an arm around her as well. If she wasn't still pleasantly buzzed, perhaps Lena would have questioned the growing intimacy.“It snows all of the time on Krypton, and in Midvale too. I haven't- rao, it reminds me so much of home.”Or, Lena hates Christmas for several reasons, and she's more than happy to spend it with a glass of wine and all alone in her office. That's until a bashful Kara comes along with a promising invitation.





	What if I asked you to stay?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [astradanvers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astradanvers/gifts).



> This is my first ever secret santa exchange, and I'm _so_ happy to be finally able to post it! I really hope you'll enjoy this! @astradanvers

Lena's on her third drink for the night, and she's long abandoned any pretenses of stopping soon. On the days leading up to Christmas this is the norm, and all the alcohol does is present her with a pleasant burn in the back of her throat and a slight throbbing of her head - something she can easily drown out with work. Though it's a thump outside of her own mind that flies right over her head, and only once there's a distinctive knock on her balcony door does she actually look up properly. She didn't have to, to know that it's Supergirl. 

Her clock reads after midnight and she shakes her head not at her own work ethics, but at Kara still being up this late. Still evidently checking up on her although she's told her numerous times that she'd rather be left alone. The subtle smile that finds its way onto her lips is nothing but a traitor. 

Walking towards said balcony door and opening it is something Lena only manages to do with a lot of composure, and even then her steps are wavering enough for Kara to notice. She almost snorts at the thought. Kara _always_ notices. One exasperated sigh and the girl is by her side. If she didn't like her so much, perhaps Lena would think it to be borderline creepy. If only she didn't revel in the attention as much as she did. 

“Supergirl,” she hums once Kara steps inside, clad in her armor and a smile that is impossibly disarming. “To what do I owe the honor?” 

It's teasing. It's _supposed_ to be teasing, a Lena like thing to say accompanied with a raised eyebrow. But her words are tinted with alcohol and so it falls flat, along with the curve of Kara's lips. 

The latter, apparently, decides not to address the question, decides it to be passive aggressive. The part of Lena that is subconsciously looking for a fight - for Kara to leave again - mourns the loss, but the better part of herself merely takes a step closer as the other woman speaks. 

“I saw the light in your office and- you know I like to check up on you whenever you work late. You shouldn't-... Lena, are you okay?” It's impossible not to notice the way Kara keeps fiddling with her fingers, a gesture so inappropriate in this outfit. Along with her wet and tousled hair, she looks nothing like Supergirl and undoubtedly like Kara. 

Lena has always thought it to be the biggest flaw in Kara's secret identity, how strong of a character Kara Danvers herself is. She's overwhelming, almost. Overwhelmingly caring and overwhelmingly genuine. In this moment, she looks overwhelmingly worried. 

“I'm fine.” It's an answer reserved for people she knows don't care, an answer which delivery she has perfected to sound truthful. It's not an answer for Kara, and she feels it in the way her body finally rebels and forces her to sit back down on her uncomfortable office chair. 

Only then does she properly take note of Kara's pacing, takes note of a hand running through damp curls and cheeks reddened by cold air. “Kara,” she whispers, knows Supergirl can hear her no matter how quiet, no matter how slurred her words are. Lena desperately hopes that she picks up on the tenderness as well. 

She lets out a relieved sigh when Kara finally sits down on the couch, eyes cast down to her nervous hands that still won't stop moving. Lena knows they'd be fiddling with already perfectly placed glasses if she was wearing any. 

“Did you know it's snowing outside?” Kara asks finally, of all of the things she could've asked instead. Lena is thankful, and shakes her head at the ridiculous notion. 

“It doesn't snow in National City.” Lena is already back to work, has already tried to embed herself back into the pages, and she jumps when Kara is suddenly right next to her. The soft hand on her shoulder, however, is something she reluctantly leans into. 

“Come on, I'll show you.” 

There's no way to say no when Kara's words are this alluring, this soft. It's a request despite the grammatical suggestions that tell her otherwise. If Lena had to write them down, the words would be followed up with a question mark and so much space for negation. 

And still she follows willingly, takes the extended hand and grasps onto it as Kara pulls her out onto the cold balcony. The night air is sharp as it hits her face, but the lights of the city make it just so that little white specks are visible swirling in their own small storm, and so she barely focuses on the cold creeping into her clothes and enveloping her fully. 

“That's beautiful,” Lena whispers, as though any sounds louder than that might disrupt how peaceful the snowflakes cause everything to look. They sober her up, get tangled in her hair and melt just like the ones that had made any efforts of Kara's hidden identity useless. 

“Mmh, have you ever seen snow before?” Kara asks and Lena shakes her head, still in awe and trying to watch every little speck of white at once. If she doesn't turn towards Kara instead, she knows she'll entirely forget about the suit that she is wearing still. 

She's here with Kara, and it's Kara that wraps a red cape around her shoulders in a gesture so incredibly endearing that Lena almost tears her gaze away from the city beneath them. She leans into the embrace, relishes the warmth and instinctively seeks for more, sighs unwillingly when Kara wraps an arm around her as well. If she wasn't still pleasantly buzzed, perhaps Lena would have questioned the growing intimacy. 

“It snows all of the time on Krypton, and in Midvale too. I haven't- rao, it reminds me so much of home.” 

Lena _hates_ how sad Kara sounds, would do anything to have a cape of her own she could give to Kara for comfort. But she's got nothing, won't ever be enough for someone who deserves the entire Universe and then some. She's got nothing for someone this _good_ , is at a morally grey loss. All she does, in the end, is squeeze Kara's hand in a way she hopes might convey how sorry she is. 

All the words she thinks of saying get stuck in her throat, and so she's glad when Kara takes it upon herself to keep talking - voice painfully close to cracking. 

“When I first came here, Alex made sure to introduce me to all kinds of religions. To all kinds of traditions, especially around the winter time. But without the snow it all felt, I don't know, dull.” 

Lena's not used to a head of blonde curls nestling itself into the crook of her neck, but revels in the role reversal nonetheless. “Is there anything I can-” 

“Will you come to Midvale with me?” The words are rushed and self conscious in and of themselves, sound unsure even for Kara. The way she delivers them is ridiculous, red and blue unfitting for the way she unsurely paints them into the dark night sky and against her sensitive skin. The ones following are even worse, and Lena thinks she might crack herself, upon hearing how absolutely desperate they sound. “Please, Lena, come to Midvale with me. Meet my family, my home-” 

“I can't.” She's not sure why she says no instinctively, thinks that perhaps it has become an intrinsic part of herself to reject any form of affection. 

“What are you doing this Christmas?” Kara sounds more sure of herself now, and Lena shakes her head. It's not a question inherently, it's an accusation as well as an effort. Kara knows she's doing nothing on Christmas Eve or the days after, and this is her own way of offering help. 

Lena takes a deep breath, braces herself for how bad her plans will sound once they leave the depths of her mind where they have been properly appropriated. “Wine and work.” 

“That's not-” 

“I don't celebrate Christmas, Kara. I've tried, trust me, me and Lex tried many times. And all we'd ever get was dinner with dad's business partners and meaningless presents. For _years_ I've asked for a sled, for nothing but a simple sled so that I could go out with Lex and finally _belong_. I've never got one, Kara, I've never got a sled, I-” 

There are strong arms enveloping her as soon as the first tears fall, and suddenly Kara is all around her. The steady beating of the other woman's heart underneath a steel armor is the only thing stopping her from getting worked up over details this small and insignificant, nothing more than a sled- 

“It's not about Christmas,” she hears Kara whisper, and somehow the tenderness of her voice draws Lena in even closer. “It's a celebration of the winter time, no matter what you believe in. There's mulled wine and gingerbread and all of these amazing things, there - It's about family, Lena, and I really want you there with me. More than anything.” 

// 

Lena arrives at the DEO with packed bags, a racing heart and sweaty palms. She's agreed to meet Kara here for their following trip, but so far she hasn't been able to find the hero. And upon asking for her presence all she has gotten in return were ill meaning looks that only the face of a Luthor could ever warrant. Especially here, in the DEO of all places. Lena doesn't think her presence is less wanted anywhere else, and so she's uncharacteristically happy to spot Alex's face in a crowd of many. 

Well, almost. She has to, after all, somewhat mirror the look she's being regarded with. 

“Lena! I didn't know you'd be here this soon!” Alex greets her, and with it a dozen of DEO agents snap their heads around to face her as well. Their expressions border between questioning and accusing, and either way Lena feels like a deer caught in headlights, like perhaps she shouldn’t be here at all. Like perhaps this was all one big misunderstanding and Alex doesn’t even want her here. 

And she expects Alex to act accordingly. She expects to be either run over or for the other woman to hit the brakes last second, but instead she watches as Alex shoos the other agents away and regards her with a smile that looks apologetic in a way, and most importantly gentle. 

“I’m sorry about that, they’re all- well, with you being a Luthor and- Kara should be here soon.” 

Alex doesn’t quite say _I’m glad you’re coming_ , but the smile still adorning her lips is enough to convey just that. Or in the very least, it tells Lena that she’s being _tolerated_ , and it’s so much more than she would’ve expected. 

 

// 

The flight itself is a business of eyes tightly shut closed, frightened gasps and strong arms securing themselves around Lena's shivering frame. She is scared of falling, but even more so that perhaps she won't be able to let go eventually. 

The only thing that frightens her more, really, is the certain knowledge that she will have to meet Kara's mother. It's not a meeting like _that_ \- Lena hasn't considered the thought of being introduced to someone else's parents like _that_ an option in quite a while. 

Though she supposes the circumstance of their meeting does not quite matter, because either way she is going to meet family of the most important person in her life, and truly Lena can't imagine anything more scary. Hoping that, perhaps, in a town this far away, her name will be cleansed of any evil is something Lena hasn't dared to do just yet. She almost suspects the length of that prejudice to travel as far and quick as space and time itself; but being a Luthor - if only by name - is merely the beginning of the embarrassment she fears she's about to face. 

Kara is open and loving, she is reserved and quiet. Kara is good and she is, well, anything but that. She isn't at all like the woman she admires so much, and she isn't at all like the perfect person that Kara deserves to accompany her here. 

Being all nerves and tightly wound, Lena is barely able to admire their surroundings. This place is so new and admirable that usually she'd want to explore it all immediately, but now that they're approaching the door of Kara's childhood home all common sense is lost on her. Kara gently takes her sweaty hand and unclenches her tightly clenched fist in doing so. Lena assumes it must be an effort to make her feel more comfortable, but it might actually be unknowingly causing the opposite. While Kara does make her feel safe, being this close to the blonde superhero is evidently nerve wracking enough in and of itself. _It always has._

Kara hums happily, squeezes her hand carefully, still always holding back - either of habit or careful iteration of Lena’s well-being - and Alex rolls her eyes in a way that Lena thinks isn’t even supposed to be discrete. Kara’s affection is evidently of great amusement to her older sister, even worthy of one of those smug smirks Lena _knows_ she reserves for moments like this, but to the latter it’s absolutely maddening. 

Her heart threatens to jump right out of her chest when Eliza opens the door, and she feels so dizzy that she can’t even begin to focus on the lifesaver that is Kara’s hand still holding her own. Lena watches as the woman embraces Kara in a way she’s only ever seen in movies she wasn’t supposed to watch as a kid, and can’t help but wonder why Kara still hasn’t let go just yet. _Is she that obvious? Is her elevated heartbeat truly something that Kara pays attention to?_

“And you must be Lena!” 

Before she knows it Lena herself is being wrapped into a welcoming hug, the words themselves more genuine than anything she’s ever known. Her body feels stiff and unable to move still, but Lena relishes the warm embrace nonetheless. A small part of her wishes the Danvers weren’t this kind, loving and inviting to begin with, just in case the inevitable sets in rather sooner than later. Disappointment is much more hurtful when she is led to believe someone might _actually_ care about her, when doubt is so easily swept away with some more words and a welcoming smile she’s now being regarded with. 

“I am very glad to meet you, Lena. Kara always speaks so highly of you.” And it’s the truth; Lena can hear it in Eliza’s voice and see it in the form of a red blush on Kara’s cheeks. 

“Yup, she truly won’t ever shut up about you, it’s quite-” Alex is being cut off by a gentle but nonetheless affective glare, and Lena almost laughs as she watches the former close her mouth in immediate understanding. 

“You might be an adult now, but I am not above grounding you, Alexandra. Let them be, let them enjoy themselves,” Eliza hums as she hugs Alex as well and shoos them all inside. 

Lena copies Kara’s still present blush unwillingly, would have asked Eliza what exactly she meant by those cryptic words if it weren’t for the fact that she’s never seen Kara this nervous. Kara is nervous and Alex is still smirking conspicuously, and it’s no more than those little cues that tell Lena to better stay out of it. For now at least. 

The Danvers’ home is very obviously one of the countryside, smells of nature and is adorned with all of the old fashioned things she’s almost suspected to see here. The whole place is strange and new, but despite it all the couch is a place to comfortably sit on like in any other home - except maybe her own, former, one -, and so she does, while Kara doesn’t even attempt to. Or she does, though the effort is minimal and soon enough bouncing legs have Kara pacing the room in a giddy manner. She’s childlike and playful, and as Lena observes her grinning at absolutely nothing at all, she realizes that if she didn’t _know_ , that if she hadn’t seen it herself, she’d _never_ compare this girl to the superhero that spends her day saving people all around the city and being admired from people in a range even wider than that. 

She doesn’t dare say anything, not in a room she’s never once before been in, and yet she can’t just quit watching as Kara works herself up, sits down only to go back to pacing a few seconds later. She listens as Kara strikes up a conversation and loses her own train of thought by staring out of a big living room window that reveals nothing but snow, like Lena’s never even dreamed of before. 

And so she watches Kara, and unfairly enjoys that Alex next to her seems to be somewhat out of her element as well. Surely more comfortable than Lena herself, but still nowhere near as at ease as Kara so evidently seems to be. It doesn’t make sense to Lena, why Alex seems to feel at least a little out of place in the home she has grown up in, but either way she strangely enjoys it, if only because thus far Lena has only ever seen her fight or be smugly intimidating. Physically, but also by means of being Kara’s big sister alone, protective of anyone the girl might- 

“You’re driving me crazy, Kara.” Lena’s thoughts spin out of control and Eliza saves her from being stupidly reckless by entering the room with an arm full of hats and scarfs that she promptly wraps around Kara, then Alex, then hands a pair of each to Lena as well. “Just go.” 

“Really?” Kara asks, wide eyed, and Lena - who prides herself on being smart - realizes she’s lost track minutes ago. 

Someone notices. She doesn’t quite know who, but suddenly they’re all looking at her and Kara rushes to explain. “It’s like a Christmas market. It’s- I haven’t been there in _ages_ , but it’s, _rao_ , it’s so great. They have all of the stuff I told you about, gingerbread and cocoa and so much stuff I want to show yo-” 

It’s Alex who stops her rambling with a gentle nudge as she makes her way to the front door, motioning for Lena to follow her. 

“But, you don’t-” 

“Celebrate Christmas,” Alex finishes for her with a nod. “You’re right, detective Luthor. Neither of us do, I’m Jewish and Kara’s, well -, but she’s right, you know, it’s kind of great. It’s-” 

“A celebration to worship whoever you might believe in, even in the darker months where they’re further away,” Kara explains with that same gleam in her eyes, and once again Alex rolls her eyes. 

Lena simply grins, tries not to look back at the front door where she is _certain_ that Eliza is still watching them, as Kara once again slips a hand into her own without saying as much as a single word about it. Not that Lena minds, really. Instead she gladly accepts that this is a thing they do now, leans into the touch and pretends her cheeks are red because of the cold alone. 

//

The sky’s already painted in streaks of orange and purple when they leave, and it’s only minutes later that the sun sets fully. By the time they arrive at the celebration, all three of them would be surrounded by darkness, if they weren’t instead bathed in all kinds of festive lights that the ones on in the city had absolutely nothing on. They’re everywhere, above them and on the floor and all over the booths that make the whole event look like the kind of Christmas market Lena could only ever dream of as a child. 

There are a lot of people, too, all kinds of them. Lena watches as Kara greets strangers and stands close by as the blonde interacts with them as though they’ve been friends forever and not just possessed by the spirit of Christmas. The one thing they all have in common is their festive wear and blinding smiles. 

And although overwhelmed, Lena gets it. She gets why they’re this happy, finds the whole experience to be delightful already, and even more so when Kara disappears into the crowd of promises with bringing Lena all kinds of stuff she will _absolutely love_. It’s charming and endearing, until she’s gone and Lena realizes just how many people there are, along with just how alone she now is with Alex. 

“You’re enjoying yourself, right?” The auburn haired woman asks sceptically, brows furrowing when Lena shrugs honestly. There’s no forced smile, no pretending to be okay because that’s what’s expected of her. Surprisingly, Alex takes a step closer, shares a genuine smile that is in no way comparable to all of the teasing ones she usually uses so frequently. 

Lena takes a while to properly process the question, to come up with an answer that is honest and yet doesn’t induce pity. She and Alex never talk like this, and the moment to bring this up now is as unfitting as any other. She has imagined another Christmas spent alone at her desk, but instead she’s now surrounded by a crowd full of ecstatic people and a blonde that won’t stop smiling at her at any given opportunity.

“I think so, yes,” Lena tries, carefully, takes in her immediate environment and decides it’s the truth. She is enjoying herself, if a little anxiously. “This is just, new, I suppose, I’ve never really- I don’t know, it doesn’t matter.” 

Of course Alex presses, doesn’t let go. It’s where Kara got that particular trait from, after all, only a tenfold. “You’ve never what?” 

Lena sighs and casts her eyes down towards the cobblestones she’s standing on, so very unfit for her high heeled designer boots. There’s snow landing on them as they speak, and Lena inhales deeply before she admits what exactly is currently bothering her. It’s not just that this is unexpected, but it’s also a reminder of what she maybe, possibly could have had. If her family wasn’t such a screw-up, and if she herself wasn’t one either. “I’ve never been to a Christmas market. Or anything like it, really.” 

She looks up, though not at Alex. A part of her starts looking for Kara in the crowd, expecting her to appear the very second the words have left her mouth. 

“Never?” 

Lena shakes her head, finally faces a disbelieving Alex. “Never.” 

Suddenly Alex chuckles, and Lena has absolutely no idea why. She’s shaking her head, too, and Lena can’t help but think that somehow she knows this look that Alex is giving her. “God, and here I was thinking I’d need to tell _you_ not to hurt _her_.”

It’s a _joke_ , clearly, or so Lena tells herself. It’s just another way for Alex to get to her, to tease relentlessly like she always does. The part of Lena that fears the other woman might _know_ is quickly being pushed aside, and the words that are laced with genuine worry ignored expertly. It’s even easier when Kara returns from her journey to get food, and if the insane amount of it in her arms is anything to go by, successfully so. 

She doesn’t pick up on the tension that surrounds them, and Lena is incredibly thankful for it. She simply accepts all of the food that Kara has gathered for her to try, only to find that the Kryptonian’s promises hadn’t been empty and she does, actually, come to rather love most of it. 

And she keeps doing so as the night goes on, relishes Kara’s smile whenever she asks for more and revels in the way the blonde constantly puts an arm around her waist, around her shoulders or simply stands infuriatingly close. Anything to touch her, seemingly, while Alex keeps watching them, face painted with both glee and a healthy amount of suspicion. When Kara kisses her cheek for the third time that night, Lena notes that she can’t even blame her. 

And it’s not just that either; suspicion. Alex hasn’t looked at her quite the same all night, since her earlier revelation, seems just the slightest bit worried still and keeps asking questions even now that Kara’s back around. 

‘You doing good?’ Alex will ask every now and then, and ‘You’re starting to warm up now, aren’t you?’ another time, just as Kara’s endearing actions cause her to laugh heartily. And Lena nods even though all of the clothes Eliza has provided them with do nothing to shield her from the cold. 

Lena still hates Christmas. She hates it with a passion and purely out of spite. She hates it with all of its dumb traditions and connotations, with all of the love and affection she’s never been granted, not even around this time of the year; and she still wouldn’t mind spending it with a nice glass of wine and an empty office save herself, perfectly miserable in a way she’s always known. But this isn’t Christmas, it doesn’t have to be, and for some reason Kara’s still reaching for her hand whenever she anxiously lets go, keeps making sure she’s alright in this crowd full of people just like Alex is. 

 

This isn’t Christmas, and so she’s not to blame for the subtlest hint of a smile playing along the corners of her lips all evening. 

It’s a strange realization, that in this far away away city she feels more at home than she ever has in her own four walls. That with Kara, Alex and, oddly enough even Eliza who she’s met merely a few hours ago, she feels more safe than she ever has with her parents. 

The realization is driven home even further when they make their way back to the Danvers’, freezing and beautifully exhausted, and Eliza awaits them with warm cocoa.

//

The rest of their night is filled with embarrassing childhood stories and all of the melancholic traditions Lena has never gotten to experience. She puts on one of Kara’s hoodies, one that is just a tad too big and smells of candy canes, because her own is _definitely not comfortable enough, Lena_. She relentlessly blushes and accepts the offered pair of sweatpants as well, her own bags not equipped with clothing as comfortable, and ignores the way Alex snickers when she comes downstairs, dressed like a proper _sap_ to watch earthly Christmas movies as the snow falls outside. 

It’s only halfway through the movie that Lena realizes that they’re watching those kind of movies because of her, because Kara is still trying, so hard, to make this an enjoyable experience for her. It’s at around the same time that she realizes how incredibly tired and unequipped to deal with any of this she is. 

Still, Lena thinks she might have never fought her approaching sleep this hard, wants to be _there_ for Alex’s sarcastic remarks about the movies, and Kara’s laughter as she agrees with her sister and absentmindedly strokes Lena’s hair. Once she’s far enough gone, drunk off of sleep and that _one_ mug of mulled wine she now blames all of her actions on, she curls up against Kara’s side. She closes her eyes, just for one second, the noises of the movie playing along as a nice background noise she barely focuses on because all she can hear is Kara’s calm heartbeat. 

She’s only vaguely aware of losing consciousness, eventually, but still the last soft murmurs she hears make her smile involuntarily. She’s too lost already to fight it, really, Alex’s words warped by approaching dreams and Kara’s _“Shh, Lena’s asleep”_ entirely too sweet not to at least acknowledge with this small of a smile. But she isn’t, she’s not yet asleep. And still she closes her eyes tighter and instinctively cuddles closer, loving what a great excuse it is to do stuff like this, especially if she’d never otherwise be brave enough to do so. 

There’s one more question Lena hears being asked, the tone indisputable mocking and _Alex_. It’s barely fair, but Lena’s eternally thankful to not have to deal with answering it. 

_Are you sure you’re just friends?_

//

She isn’t. Lena has never been sure that they’re just friends, and she has never been more doubtful of it as when she wakes up in Kara’s bed the next morning. The memories of how she got there are non existent, and the idea that perhaps Kara carried her there make her blush almost as much as the muscular arm that’s sprawled over her stomach and fingertips that are just so brushing the sensitive skin there, where Kara’s hoodie has ridden up far enough. It makes her blush almost as much as Kara’s cold toes against her calves, or the soft huffs of warm breath that tickle her neck and turn this almost spiritual experience into pure torture. 

Lena tries to move and immediately finds it impossible, and if only because she doesn’t want Kara to wake up, or because it’s so incredibly easy to just give in and shift even closer instead. The sunlight streaming through the window is somewhat gloomy and dim and still incredibly comforting because it means that it’s _still_ snowing. It’s the only reason she’d want to leave this bed ever again, the prospect of getting to go out and play in the snow with Kara and Alex, who’d inevitably throw a snowball at her. Lena grins, too caught up in the idea of getting to enjoy all of this with Kara that she barely realizes said woman has woken up and is now looking at her with sleepy but curious eyes. 

“Up already?” She yawns, startles Lena just the tiniest bit. 

“I could ask you the same,” she retorts and chuckles, voice both hoarse and hesitant. Her first and only attempt of getting out of the bed is held back by a strong hand gently pulling her back, and soft eyes asking her to stay. 

It should be awkward, and partly it is. Kara smells sweet and her skin is warm as Lena caresses it with timidly wandering fingers. Lena’s hair is a tousled mess, her gut a tight knot of nerves as Kara nudges her cheek with a cold nose despite her dishevelled appearance. 

“You wanna go open our presents?” A soft voice asks and Lena barely listens, though still manages to reply between the loud thumps of a heart hammering in her chest. 

“Presents?” she asks carefully. 

“Yes, presents. You know, the thing people gift each other on Christmas.” 

“You don’t even celebrate.” 

Kara laughs softly, and presses a tender kiss to her temple as though it’s the most ordinary thing to do after a night spent in the same bed. Perhaps it is, Lena thinks. Or perhaps it should be, usually, if she weren’t a Luthor and wasn’t still being eaten alive by deeply ingrained self-doubt and the certain knowledge that Kara didn’t mean any of it. 

“But _you_ celebrate.” 

It’s not a good enough reason, but Kara’s previously established need to just never let go is prevalent in issues like this, and she’s barely surprised when the blonde nudges her again, just as she starts to lose herself in an internal struggle of what this might lead to. 

“And I want to make you happy,” Kara whispers, clearly an admission, and gently tilts Lena’s chin so their eyes meet. 

“Why?” Lena asks in return, because she truly cannot fathom it. Any motivation to possibly want to do so must be terribly weak at best. She winces when Kara gets up promptly and puts on some proper clothes, the sliver of exposed skin along her stomach too tempting to further look into that general direction. She stares out of the window instead as she listens to the rustling of clothes as Kara changes, with no intent of doing the same. Kara’s hoodie still smells of her, and no following answer to her reckless question will be able to take that from her. 

It’s an extended hand that pulls her out of her thoughts, and when she looks up she sees Kara looking incredibly calm and happy still. As though, perhaps, the question didn’t put her off guard in the slightest.

Instinctively Lena takes her hand and follows Kara with hesitant steps. They’re halfway down the stairs when the Kryptonian suddenly halts in her tracks, and Lena can hear Eliza and Alex working in the kitchen, can hear cheesy Christmas music playing as Kara whispers those few words. 

_“Because I like you, Lena. Isn’t that obvious?”_

//

It is obvious. In between hand holding and cheek kisses and Kara never leaving her side, Lena realizes it had been obvious all along. And, feelings no longer thought to be unrequited, she doesn’t try to fight the goofy upturning of her lips during breakfast, and neither does she try to hide the loving looks being exchanged over the table and meaningless conversation that couldn’t possibly mean more to Lena. It’s so ordinary. Kara seems almost ordinary like this and somewhere in the middle of breakfast Lena rids herself of any inhibitions and falls in love. 

Breakfast, however, doesn’t last long. Kara’s once again too giddy and Alex is terrible at hiding that she, too, is excited for presents. With bare feet and still cautious expectations she trudges alongside the two sisters to the perfectly set up Christmas tree. They rip open presents and don’t, not for one second, listen to Eliza that tells them to calm down. 

“Come on, Lena, open yours as well! Aren’t you excited what might be in there?” Kara asks, first disbelieving and then with wiggling eyebrows. “Don’t you wanna know what Santa-” 

“Don’t even go there, Kara.” It’s of course Alex who interrupts with a chuckle, who struggles with believing in Santa, while Lena has trouble processing that there are any presents for her to begin with. 

This is less of a reason to freak out than waking up in Kara’s bed, she knows, with entangled limbs and caressing fingers. Still she can’t even begin to act as though receiving a Christmas present for the first time in _years_ isn’t overwhelming. She’s suddenly glad she bought some for Kara and the others, just to be sure, just to be nice and friendly and _enough_ to, perhaps, get invited again. 

The exchange is nerve wracking for several reasons, the presents bought last minute and with an amount of money that especially Kara cannot approve of. It’s all Lena knows, overpriced and extravagant presents. They’re the extent of affection she’s ever been shown, and she isn’t quite able to believe Kara when she tells her that she _didn’t have to_. Lena disagrees, her counter argument the bright, toothy smile when Kara’s package reveals tickets for a musical that has been sold out for _years_. Alex hugs her for the first time ever when Lena presents her with a piece of technology she’s never thought possible, and Eliza draws her into another embrace upon opening her own present. 

In the end it’s not too scary, and Lena manages to almost feel calm as she watches Alex and Kara open their very last present. A pair of socks for each, knitted by Eliza and in their favorite color. It’s the kind of gift Lena considers to be the best, and it’s shocking to her when Eliza hands her a pair as well. She must’ve had less than a day to make them, and it shows. The technique is sloppy on many parts of the socks, there’s a tiny hole where room for her toes should be and Lena _adores_ every single imperfection. 

A pair of dark green socks is all it takes for Lena to shed unfought tears, and she thanks Eliza profusely until Kara cuts her off with a tender kiss. To her cheek, yet enough to discard any sane thought she might have had before, as well as her ability to speak. And so she doesn’t. One of her hands finds its way to a reddened cheek where she can still feel Kara’s soft lips, and the other cradles a pair of socks that she cherishes more than anything to her chest. 

And Lena prides herself on being the first ever Luthor to _belong_. 

// 

“I’ve got one more present for you.” 

Green socks are getting to Lena even minutes later and her recovery is prolonged a tenfold when she hears those whispered words. She has no chance but to follow as Kara guides her to the front door, without any other explanation but the impossible that there’s even _more_ for Lena, that somehow all of those other presents weren’t enough and she deserves more. And Kara guides her. She doesn’t at all giddily pull on the arm of Lena’s hoodie because _she absolutely cannot wait for her to see it_. 

“Where are we going, exactly?” Lena asks, somewhat sceptical and yet more than ready to get out into the snow. She can’t hide the way her lips are _already_ curving upwards, into a smile tainted with more excitement than she’d been able to feel in years. 

“I’m not telling you,” Kara hums nonchalantly as she puts on her boots, motioning for Lena to do the same. “Just- well, it involves a certain winter activity I thought you might like.” 

Lena doesn’t really understand why Kara’s words sound so hesitant, so unsure, when all she can suddenly think about is their conversation on her office’s balcony, and years after years of wishing for a sled and yet never getting one. And this time she does dare to hope, because Kara is giving and perceptive and the snow would be _perfect_ for it. 

She’s too caught up in unrealistic fantasies of a screwed up childhood and opportunities to catch up on all of the things she has missed out on. She’s too busy watching Kara’s smile to realize why exactly it is so firmly set in place, and she only takes note of all of the scarfs and hats and jackets Kara is trying to pile on her once Alex enters the room and snorts. 

“Looking good, Luthor,” she grins, and Lena grumbles although Kara immediately jumps to her defence. _You don’t want her to be cold, Alex, do you?_ And really, she can’t even begin to be mad when Alex is still wearing this silly pajama that is clearly made for kids. 

“Right back at you, Danvers.” 

Lena doesn’t know if it’s the bold retort or the delivery, a smug smirk painted onto her lips and eyebrows raised in challenge, or if perhaps it was just something to get out of the way before she’s out of the door. Either way Alex grabs her arm and hugs her for the second time that day, for apparently no reason, and she doesn’t have to turn her head to know that Kara must be sporting a broad grin. 

“You belong now, Luthor. You know that, right?” Lena barely has time to nod uncertainly before Alex returns in all of her playful rudeness. “Even though you look incredibly stupid right now.” 

Once again Lena feels like a mocking retort might be in place, but Alex shakes her head and nods towards an eagerly awaiting Kara. She squeezes Lena’s shoulder one more time and chuckles. 

“Later. Now go sledding with your child of a girlfriend.”


End file.
